In today’s world, it’s often touted that the busier you are, the more productive you are. The more productive you are determines how much wealth you will build. Wealth, in turn, defines who you are as a person. But does being so busy also define your relationships? What happened to the importance of quality time and just being with someone? Or what about…just being still.
Can you remember a day that you went without watching TV, at all? TV may be easy for some people that don’t watch as much. So, I’ll ask, when was the last time you didn’t look at your phone for a whole day? I recently left my phone at my sister-in-law’s house and went a whole day without my phone. *Gasp* Do you know how many times I instinctively reached for my phone that wasn’t there? Our cell phone has become a learned habit that is now instilled in us.
Having a cell phone is not a bad thing. But it can be when it impairs our ability to communicate face-to-face with others. It can also affect the way we handle intimate relationships.
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Being the Good Housewife
My desire growing up was to be a housewife. That’s all I wanted to be. My dream was to have an idyllic 1950’s family, with a husband, two kids, and a dog. So, finally came the day that I got married at 29 years old. I decided to be the best housewife ever.
The plan was to come home from work and immediately start preparing dinner for my husband. My home was going to be clean at all times and no speck of dirt would ever touch my floors. The bathrooms? Forget about it, sparkling white and squeaky clean 24/7 (because who really ever does number two?!).
And then, reality sets in. Those floors are always dirty, no matter how many times a day I sweep and mop them. The toilets? We are human, we definitely use them. The dishes are never done (why are there always dishes?) and there’s a pile of clothes waiting to be washed. Plus, I work 40 hours a week and writing a blog takes time! The job of a housewife is never done. (You know I’m talking to you.)
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Why we need quality time
One day, my husband looked at me and asked me when I was going to have time for him. He didn’t care about the dishes, he just wanted to cuddle (isn’t that sweet? *heart melt*). And it hit me. This is what it’s about. It’s not about the doing, it’s about the quality time spent with those you love.
The dishes will be there tomorrow. Clothes can be put away later. The kids may need a bath and the dog may need his teeth brushed. Your friends and family may be texting you and the number of Facebook notifications could be off the chart. Your friend just Snap Chatted you and you need to post a photo to Instagram. But it can all wait!
What will you remember in ten years? Or what about in twenty years? I believe what you will remember are the times that you put the phone away and just spent time enjoying your relationships. This is the only time that we have. Use that time to the max potential.
I’m not saying that housework should always be put aside, because we can use excuses to get out of chores (I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of this). We could also be very lazy and not do anything, ever (but that’s a whole other issue). But in the moment, it is possible to grab the time that you have and use it to make memories.
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Seizing the moment
If your husband is home and watching TV, sit with him. Put the phone away and be with him. If he’s outside chopping wood, go outside and keep him company. When you are cooking dinner, ask him to sit and talk to you. If you are at a restaurant, put the phone down and actually talk. Recapture the whole reason of why you got married and wanted to be with each other. Fall in love again. Spend some quality time together.
Your kids will love you getting down on the floor and playing with them. Kids grow up so fast, don’t let the time slip away. You blink and the next second your precious baby is a grown teenager. Don’t lose those treasured moments. Spend quality time with your children. This is the time that you have to influence them and hope and pray that they grow up to be the person you hoped they would be.
But I don’t know what to say!
I’ll be honest in that I’m more of an introvert and so is my husband. We say what we need to say and then we just sit together and enjoy each other’s company. But some days I need more and I wish that I was super duper creative and able to find things to discuss…anything…because the silence needs to be filled.
Ever sat at the dinner table and just stared at your spouse? Or sat in the car with nothing to talk about? That’s why I love Pinterest and the multiple resources found on there. To help you out, I’ve found a couple of great conversation starter lists to get those conversation juices flowing!
50 Conversation Starters for Couples
30 Date Night Questions and Conversation Starters
Date Night Conversation Starters You Have to Try Out
110 Conversation Starters for Couples
50 Road Trip Conversation Starters for Couples
15 Questions for Parents to Ask Their Child After School
31 Heart Revealing Questions to Ask Your Kids
I hope that this will inspire you to get to know your spouse or child in a deeper way. Let me know how it goes!